thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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