JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
