I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
