I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
