If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
