theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
