but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize