i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
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It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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