next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if only i could text you this smell
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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