Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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