I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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