I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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