awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
