As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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