he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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