I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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