I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
