Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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