I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
