Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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