it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every concussion has its silver lining
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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