I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
