apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
