i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
