How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
