Dual....:-)
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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