I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
