The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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