Welp...herpes.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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