i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
