I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i need some magic done to my vagina
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
