I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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