conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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