so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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