so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
