one might say we're banned from that church
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
