so that wasnt chicken after all
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
