i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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