Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
