Porn is love you can see.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
