first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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