This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
