This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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