Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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