I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
FUCK WHALES
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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