garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can text with my tongue
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
