In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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