but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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