Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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