The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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