Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
