So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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