so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
