How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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