im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
