I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
