Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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