yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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