Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I had to cum in my sink.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
