will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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