today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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