would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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