Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
how drunk are you?
Several
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
