She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
