Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
