We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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