I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize